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Public Displays Of Affection

by Emma Shepard

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1.
Guilty 03:00
Oh you're so sick doesn't matter what the doctor said don't apologize, just get your things and live with it. I'm not sorry if you're not sorry you're not sorry so I'm not sorry Oh you're so guilty doesn't matter what your lawyer said the way that things are going I'll be fighting you 'til death I'm not bruising though I'm not bleeding, no you're in for you're dead to me Clover cigarettes and cherry trees Picnic blankets, wine, and moonlit scenes I've left you in a distant memory go to bed and don't remind me of table talk or drunk calls late at night when you tell me everything on your sober mind go to bed and start forgetting you've got something that I'm missing. Oh you're so sick doesn't matter what the doctor said don't apologize, just get your things and live with it I'm not sorry if you're not sorry no, you're not sorry oh, I'm not sorry Sneaking 'round apartment complexes where I scrape me knees on gravel driveways go to bed and start forgetting you've got something that I'm missing don't make promises you cannot keep but swear at least you'll try to remember me never ever go forgetting You're in for you're dead to me
2.
Orca 02:07
It started with a ring from a gum wrapper when she was seventeen and you told her that you'd love her forever and the tangles in my hair, did you love them like you said you did? I cut them off 'cause every time I brushed through the, I thought of you and it became a problem with hands around my neck I decided to live instead only for the hell of it, only because you probably didn't expect me to. Now let's ring in that time, that season we buy presents for everyone we've ever met and we pretend that our money couldn't be any better spent. I wonder where you are now, I wonder what you're doing I wonder if you're still living and if you think it's worth it When you have wine you say it tastes like Sunday and I tell you it tastes like blacking out on the cold front porch by my doorway prohibiting others to walk out you were clever, you got past me you were moving rather quickly like you've been waiting for a while now It ended with a ring from a gum wrapper when she was seventeen when she thought that you'd love her forever well I guess forever ran through, dear.
3.
Morning 03:06
The next time I see you I'll bite my tongue til I taste blood I'll bite my tongue til I taste blood and I'll say Sure enough morning came After the night you went away Although it was the heaviest air That I ever took in And it's funny to think That on a grander scale of things That you mean nothing, you mean nothing. You mean absolutely nothing. 'Cause you still, you still mean Everything to me You still you still mean You still you still mean But the next time I see you, oh the next time I see you I'll bite my tongue til I taste blood I'll bite my tongue til I taste blood and I'll sing You still you still mean Everything to me
4.
Shelter 02:54
My body is a shelter for an animal and if you never leave me, I will stay your wrecking ball and I will be so quiet when you're asleep though I will stay wide awake So let my heart be your shelter I will confine you and keep you safe but maybe we were wrong to think we'd stay in love unlike our grandparents who sleep states apart. I need a pill to sleep 'cause my mind won't let me I'm afraid that I still need you My bones are brittle, dear so will you walk me home? I'm afraid that I still need you But maybe we were wrong to think we'd stay in love unlike our grandparents who sleep states apart
5.
Surprise! 01:56
Happy Birthday, I heard you're throwing a party for your new girlfriend and when she comes down the stairs I bet that she looks really pretty and it's like that scene in every single movie that was made in the 1980s And it's really funny how you planned that 'cause either you stay together forever or you go your separate ways and break each other's hearts and one day you'll wake up to find her gone, surprise Happy Birthday, I guess you're a whole year older do you feel a whole year wiser? Do you ever, ever miss me? I bet I never cross your mind anymore I bet I never come up in conversation and you still cross mine from time to time there's just nothing I can do about it I can tell you want her by the way you look at her oh, what I would give if you would look at me like that one time like I said something funny like I'm wearing something pretty like I said something intelligent that changed your way of thinking and it's really funny how you planned that either you stay together forever or you go your separate ways and break each other's hearts and one day I woke up to find you gone. Surprise!
6.
December's colder than I ever imagined anything could ever be every drunk girl on this street goes home with some sort of company in skirts shorter than the time you took trying to get to know me I'll wait for years, I'll wait for days I'll wait however long it takes I'll wait all night, all of my life I'll wait however long it takes but you're not coming back now, are you? You weren't coming back now, were you? All that time you lied to me how dare you how dare you Joanie, Joanie you're a delicate angel who wouldn't choose you over me? We're trading swigs from the same wine bottle as we sit on a hill by my parents' street your fingers frailer than those of a child's and right now they feel like tiny icicles you look prettier in tighter t-shirts and I wonder if that is why he wants you so much more and I wonder why that is why he wants you so much more You're allowed, you're allowed so hate me, too every bit as much as I hate you you're allowed, you're allowed so hate me, too every bit as much as I hate You're not coming back now are you you weren't coming back then, were you? All that time you lied to me how dare you how dare you I wonder if that is why he wants you so much more I wonder why that is, why he wants you so much more.
7.
Marry Me 02:57
Tell me your fear And look me in the eyes when you say it The entire city is sleeping dear So be really quiet when you say it Tell me you don't love me anymore Tell me you don't love me and I'll go Into your apartment Where I fall asleep on your shoulder You wake me up gently And say marry me when you're older And I've been waiting So where'd you go, Johnny? The wedding bells sound so hollow And lonely Cigarettes and cold coffee I could spend my life in nights like these But I hope at least she enjoys them for me Dancing by the window in your kitchen Ignoring phone calls and making wishes On every star we might see And you said you'd wish for me So I wake you up gently And say marry me When I'm older
8.
Billionaires 02:39
Let's play pretend for a weekend like we're married like we never needed medicine to give us personalities let's play dress up like we're multi, multi billionaires I will wear my nicest dress if you will style your hair. I wanna see life but see it through your eyes I think you're fascinating I swear I did do all that I could do it still didn't work out darling it's not for lack of trying, it's not for lack of trying at all I wanna dance like there's a symphony inside of me they say nothing keeps you young like not accepting that you're dying every single minute you're alive I'm being honest, while we're being honest I've been living vicariously through your girlfriend and I'm getting tired, while we're being honest, I'm getting more than tired of her. I'm getting a little tired, I'm getting a little tired...
9.
Let's find a train that goes in circles now I always go wherever you go let's find a song that we can dance to like i ever get a chance to see you You are worth every minute that I have to be patient shut out the city and lay with me you are worth every minute that I have to be patient shut out the city and wait There was a long, dark while I swore we'd never speak again and I thought of everybody else who might be sleeping in your bed and how they didn't deserve you and I hope, dear that I do you're the only one who is worth all of this There was a night I knew you loved me you were so transparent and I couldn't do anything as it became apparent I just watched from afar hoping one day I might end up where you are. You are worth every minute that I have to be patient shut out the city and lay with me you are worth every minute that I have to be patient shut out the city and wait
10.
I love you down to my skin and bones I'd drink those puddles from your eyes you're not as fragile as you think you are I'll still break your fingers one by one. If you are just the calm before how ruthless is this storm? I don't want to know.
11.
We can make up for each other's wounds left by past lovers I can drown you out with noise so easily. Or just remember every morning that you're embedded in my being remember when you said you'd bury me? Oh well I guess you said a lot of things. Why's it so hard for you to be a man? Oh, don't I just hate that you're so much happier than I am Sometimes I wish that I were older and then I wish that you came later then I wish that everyone else were out of the picture Sometimes I wish that I had fists up Sometimes I wish that I had knives out would I still be this train wreck? This train wreck that I am now Why's it so hard for you to be a man? Oh, don't I just hate that you're so much happier than I am I love my lungs, I love my lungs I seldom show it I love my mind, I love my mind, although I abuse it They love their lungs, they love their minds, they love their bodies and when they taste each other's tongues they all get lonely.

credits

released September 27, 2013

Music & Lyrics by Emma Shepard
Vocals by Emma Shepard
Engineering by Benjamin Payne
Produced by Benjamin Payne
Mixing & Mastering by Benjamin Payne
Strings by Michael Houff
Keyboard by Emma Shepard
Guitar & Banjo by Benjamin Payne
Backing Vocals by Emma Shepard
Percussion by Benjamin Payne
Album Art by Katrin Kampmann (www.katrinkampmann.de)

Made possible with Kickstarter! A special thanks to the following people for their generous donations (in no particular order)
Marcia Kelly, Tom Kelly, Christy Kelly, Mike Bandrowsky, Nolan Drinkard, Dwan Shepard, Richard Wise, Chuck Auerbach, Andrew Gray, Chris Newman, Logan List, Jason Eulberg, Cynthia Ott, Thomas Rood, Tracey Thomas, Scott Shepard, Marisa Shepard, Victor Ing, Gotzhdm, Paige Kreye, Natasha Addessi, Andy Goldhardt, John Henry, Mike Monolith Welsh, Jim Quinn, Janie Lindsay, Timothy Eddings, Vince Tyree, Connie Williams, David Seymour, Jeff Klemm (JCK), Kelly Olsen, Roland Biggerstaff, James Hassan, Sandra Hassan, John Fitzgerald, Curtis Whatley, Angela Stiff, Gabby Kaplan, Louis George, Carl Depree, David Kneil, Katie Lehner

Another round of huge thank yous to the following:
My parents Scott Shepard & Tracey Thomas, my siblings Marisa & Cory, my dog Boones, Benjamin Payne for making this all possible, Katrin Kampmann for letting me use her beautiful artwork, Morgan Hoy for designing the back cover, my extended family, Time Traveler Records, Brandon House, Nina Berzonsky, Nolan Drinkard, Anthony Minerovic, Frances Chan, Catherine Elicson, Anna Ciraldo, Mike Kapusta, Sam Zimmerman, Gabby Kaplan, Julia Davis, Zach Freidhof, Katie Perse, Izzy Abner, Kira & Jeff Andrea, Daniel Baker, and everyone else who has supported me as a friend and musical companion through this album making process.

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Emma Shepard Cleveland, Ohio

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