Public Displays Of Affection

by Emma Shepard

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Trevor Wood
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Trevor Wood Emma Shepard caught me by total surprise, and oh what a wonderful surprise. Her arrangements are impeccable, her lyrics are mesmerizing, and she has a dynamic voice that captivates. Highly recommend. Favorite track: Surprise!.
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credits

released September 27, 2013

Music & Lyrics by Emma Shepard
Vocals by Emma Shepard
Engineering by Benjamin Payne
Produced by Benjamin Payne
Mixing & Mastering by Benjamin Payne
Strings by Michael Houff
Keyboard by Emma Shepard
Guitar & Banjo by Benjamin Payne
Backing Vocals by Emma Shepard
Percussion by Benjamin Payne
Album Art by Katrin Kampmann (www.katrinkampmann.de)

Made possible with Kickstarter! A special thanks to the following people for their generous donations (in no particular order)
Marcia Kelly, Tom Kelly, Christy Kelly, Mike Bandrowsky, Nolan Drinkard, Dwan Shepard, Richard Wise, Chuck Auerbach, Andrew Gray, Chris Newman, Logan List, Jason Eulberg, Cynthia Ott, Thomas Rood, Tracey Thomas, Scott Shepard, Marisa Shepard, Victor Ing, Gotzhdm, Paige Kreye, Natasha Addessi, Andy Goldhardt, John Henry, Mike Monolith Welsh, Jim Quinn, Janie Lindsay, Timothy Eddings, Vince Tyree, Connie Williams, David Seymour, Jeff Klemm (JCK), Kelly Olsen, Roland Biggerstaff, James Hassan, Sandra Hassan, John Fitzgerald, Curtis Whatley, Angela Stiff, Gabby Kaplan, Louis George, Carl Depree, David Kneil, Katie Lehner

Another round of huge thank yous to the following:
My parents Scott Shepard & Tracey Thomas, my siblings Marisa & Cory, my dog Boones, Benjamin Payne for making this all possible, Katrin Kampmann for letting me use her beautiful artwork, Morgan Hoy for designing the back cover, my extended family, Time Traveler Records, Brandon House, Nina Berzonsky, Nolan Drinkard, Anthony Minerovic, Frances Chan, Catherine Elicson, Anna Ciraldo, Mike Kapusta, Sam Zimmerman, Gabby Kaplan, Julia Davis, Zach Freidhof, Katie Perse, Izzy Abner, Kira & Jeff Andrea, Daniel Baker, and everyone else who has supported me as a friend and musical companion through this album making process.

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Emma Shepard Cleveland, Ohio

small wood house / emma shepard / marsha white

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Track Name: Guilty
Oh you're so sick
doesn't matter what the doctor said
don't apologize, just get your things and live with it.
I'm not sorry if you're not sorry
you're not sorry so I'm not sorry

Oh you're so guilty
doesn't matter what your lawyer said
the way that things are going I'll be fighting you 'til death
I'm not bruising though
I'm not bleeding, no
you're in for
you're dead to me

Clover cigarettes and cherry trees
Picnic blankets, wine, and moonlit scenes
I've left you in a distant memory
go to bed and don't remind me
of table talk or drunk calls late at night
when you tell me everything on your sober mind
go to bed and start forgetting
you've got something that I'm missing.

Oh you're so sick
doesn't matter what the doctor said
don't apologize, just get your things and live with it
I'm not sorry if you're not sorry
no, you're not sorry
oh, I'm not sorry

Sneaking 'round apartment complexes
where I scrape me knees on gravel driveways
go to bed and start forgetting
you've got something that I'm missing
don't make promises you cannot keep
but swear at least you'll try
to remember me
never ever go forgetting

You're in for
you're dead to me
Track Name: Orca
It started with a ring from a gum wrapper
when she was seventeen and you told her that you'd love her forever
and the tangles in my hair, did you love them like you said you did?
I cut them off 'cause every time I brushed through the,
I thought of you and it became a problem
with hands around my neck I decided to live instead
only for the hell of it, only because you probably didn't expect me to.

Now let's ring in that time, that season
we buy presents for everyone we've ever met and we pretend
that our money couldn't be any better spent.
I wonder where you are now, I wonder what you're doing
I wonder if you're still living and if you think it's worth it

When you have wine you say it tastes like Sunday
and I tell you it tastes like blacking out on the cold front porch by my doorway
prohibiting others to walk out
you were clever, you got past me
you were moving rather quickly
like you've been waiting for a while now

It ended with a ring from a gum wrapper when she was seventeen
when she thought that you'd love her forever
well I guess forever ran through, dear.
Track Name: Morning
The next time I see you
I'll bite my tongue til I taste blood
I'll bite my tongue til I taste blood
and I'll say

Sure enough morning came
After the night you went away
Although it was the heaviest air
That I ever took in
And it's funny to think
That on a grander scale of things
That you mean nothing,
you mean nothing.
You mean absolutely nothing.

'Cause you still, you still mean
Everything to me
You still you still mean
You still you still mean

But the next time I see you,
oh the next time I see you
I'll bite my tongue til I taste blood
I'll bite my tongue til I taste blood
and I'll sing

You still you still mean
Everything to me
Track Name: Shelter
My body is a shelter for an animal
and if you never leave me, I will stay your wrecking ball
and I will be so quiet when you're asleep
though I will stay wide awake

So let my heart be your shelter
I will confine you and keep you safe
but maybe we were wrong
to think we'd stay in love
unlike our grandparents who sleep states apart.

I need a pill to sleep
'cause my mind won't let me
I'm afraid that I still need you

My bones are brittle, dear
so will you walk me home?
I'm afraid that I still need you

But maybe we were wrong
to think we'd stay in love
unlike our grandparents who sleep states apart
Track Name: Surprise!
Happy Birthday, I heard you're throwing a party for your new girlfriend
and when she comes down the stairs I bet that she looks really pretty
and it's like that scene in every single movie
that was made in the 1980s

And it's really funny how you planned that
'cause either you stay together forever
or you go your separate ways and break each other's hearts
and one day you'll wake up to find her gone,
surprise

Happy Birthday, I guess you're a whole year older
do you feel a whole year wiser?
Do you ever, ever miss me?
I bet I never cross your mind anymore
I bet I never come up in conversation
and you still cross mine from time to time
there's just nothing I can do about it

I can tell you want her by the way you look at her
oh, what I would give if you would look at me like that one time
like I said something funny
like I'm wearing something pretty
like I said something intelligent that changed your way of thinking
and it's really funny how you planned that
either you stay together forever
or you go your separate ways and break each other's hearts
and one day I woke up to find you gone.
Surprise!
Track Name: Joanie, Joanie
December's colder than I ever imagined
anything could ever be
every drunk girl on this street goes home
with some sort of company
in skirts shorter than the time you took
trying to get to know me

I'll wait for years, I'll wait for days
I'll wait however long it takes
I'll wait all night, all of my life
I'll wait however long it takes
but you're not coming back now, are you?
You weren't coming back now, were you?
All that time you lied to me
how dare you
how dare you

Joanie, Joanie you're a delicate angel
who wouldn't choose you over me?
We're trading swigs from the same wine bottle
as we sit on a hill by my parents' street
your fingers frailer than those of a child's
and right now they feel like tiny icicles
you look prettier in tighter t-shirts
and I wonder if that is why he wants you so much more
and I wonder why that is
why he wants you so much more

You're allowed, you're allowed
so hate me, too
every bit as much as I hate you
you're allowed, you're allowed
so hate me, too
every bit as much as I hate

You're not coming back now are you
you weren't coming back then, were you?
All that time you lied to me
how dare you
how dare you

I wonder if that is why he wants you so much more
I wonder why that is,
why he wants you so much more.
Track Name: Marry Me
Tell me your fear
And look me in the eyes when you say it
The entire city is sleeping dear
So be really quiet when you say it

Tell me you don't love me anymore
Tell me you don't love me and I'll go

Into your apartment
Where I fall asleep on your shoulder
You wake me up gently
And say marry me when you're older

And I've been waiting
So where'd you go, Johnny?
The wedding bells sound so hollow
And lonely

Cigarettes and cold coffee
I could spend my life in nights like these
But I hope at least she enjoys them for me
Dancing by the window in your kitchen
Ignoring phone calls and making wishes
On every star we might see
And you said you'd wish for me

So I wake you up gently
And say marry me
When I'm older
Track Name: Billionaires
Let's play pretend for a weekend
like we're married
like we never needed medicine to give us personalities
let's play dress up like we're multi, multi billionaires
I will wear my nicest dress if you will style your hair.

I wanna see life but see it through your eyes
I think you're fascinating
I swear I did do all that I could do
it still didn't work out darling
it's not for lack of trying, it's not for lack of trying at all

I wanna dance like there's a symphony inside of me
they say nothing keeps you young like not accepting that you're dying
every single minute you're alive

I'm being honest, while we're being honest
I've been living vicariously through your girlfriend
and I'm getting tired, while we're being honest,
I'm getting more than tired of her.

I'm getting a little tired, I'm getting a little tired...
Track Name: Where You Are
Let's find a train that goes in circles
now I always go wherever you go
let's find a song that we can dance to
like i ever get a chance to see you

You are worth every minute that I have to be patient
shut out the city and lay with me
you are worth every minute that I have to be patient
shut out the city and wait

There was a long, dark while
I swore we'd never speak again
and I thought of everybody else
who might be sleeping in your bed
and how they didn't deserve you
and I hope, dear that I do
you're the only one who is worth all of this

There was a night I knew you loved me
you were so transparent
and I couldn't do anything as it became apparent
I just watched from afar
hoping one day
I might end up where you are.

You are worth every minute that I have to be patient
shut out the city and lay with me
you are worth every minute that I have to be patient
shut out the city and wait
Track Name: Ruthless (The Calm Before)
I love you down to my skin and bones
I'd drink those puddles from your eyes
you're not as fragile as you think you are
I'll still break your fingers one by one.

If you are just the calm before
how ruthless is this storm?
I don't want to know.
Track Name: Politician (The Storm)
We can make up for each other's wounds left by past lovers
I can drown you out with noise so easily.
Or just remember every morning
that you're embedded in my being
remember when you said you'd bury me?
Oh well I guess you said a lot of things.

Why's it so hard for you to be a man?
Oh, don't I just hate that you're so much happier than I am

Sometimes I wish that I were older
and then I wish that you came later
then I wish that everyone else were out of the picture

Sometimes I wish that I had fists up
Sometimes I wish that I had knives out
would I still be this train wreck?
This train wreck that I am now

Why's it so hard for you to be a man?
Oh, don't I just hate that you're so much happier than I am

I love my lungs, I love my lungs
I seldom show it
I love my mind, I love my mind,
although I abuse it
They love their lungs, they love their minds, they love their bodies
and when they taste each other's tongues
they all get lonely.